I have found a new religion
And it's name is Massage Therapy. Our virtuous leader is Daniel, The Geeky RMT. He tells painfully corny jokes and plays questionable home-made music on his little tape player.
He's a little too proud of being 'also a musician', like being a Massage Therapist wasn't really his dream career and he's just doing this till the music thing pays off. He went into great detail about how he and his musical partner wrote and recorded all of the songs themselves. On a four-track recording system! That's him singing in the background! It only took one take, right through, for this song! He plays the mandolin AND the drums! He wanted to try something a little Japanese with this one!
Let me be very generous and diplomatic and describe the music as a cross between the Tibetan Monks Tantric Choir and Steely Dan. That's right.
I am thinking that the bad jokes and the bad music were all a cheap ruse to keep my mind off the fact that I was paying him good, hard-earned money to abuse me physically. I'll admit that I'm somewhat of a banana but I have a bruise on one forearm from one of his more aggressive 'pressure points' and I'm afraid to look at my back in the mirror. I'm so totally going back on Monday.