The Tooth Fairy May Declare Bankruptcy

Meet Gappy Sue.

The Tooth Fairy has been very busy up in our hemisphere lately. She may even need to hire an assistant as Ri's teeth have decided to fall out of her head all at once. I'm going to be blending her food and feeding it to her through a straw soon.

Although she pays well, especially for the big front teeth, The Tooth Fairy has been a little unreliable of late. She sometimes misses our house entirely on a night she's been summoned, much to the dismay of Miss R. The late arrivals and missed payments have been very concerning. A couple of weeks ago I even had to email her a little reminder after the second missed night with no pick up and cash deposit.

This is somewhat understandable as she is just one tiny woman covering the entire globe in one night, after all. Without the aid of elves or a team of reindeer or anything. A virtual one-woman-show. But really.

As eight years old is a fairly late to be losing one's first teeth, there is much suspicion surrounding the real truth about the little fairy. Ri came to me one morning recently and declared that she KNEW the tooth fairy was really me. Of course, I played totally dumb like I didn't know what she was talking about, asking her casually what made her think that.

"Mom, that $5 bill from last night totally smelled like your purse."

SMELLS LIKE MY PURSE?? WTF.

That damn fairy had better step up her game pretty quick.