Dear Skinny Bitch,

I know you've lost weight; I know you went from a size 14 to a size 2. Congratulations.

But we're tired of hearing about it. Really.

No one wants to listen to you describe your diet plan and 'intake vs. metabolism' theories at every meal time. No one wants to hear about your personal trainer 14 times a day. We don't need to know how many times you run each week. It makes us tired just hearing about it.

It is not your moral duty to convert all the overweight heathens of the world despite the fact that you now hold the key to the Holy Grail of weight loss. Back the fuck off.

Sincerely,
kim e

ps. About that 10 lbs you gained while whoring around in Mexico in January...you still got 'em. Just because you can squeeze into a pair of size 2 crotch huggers, doesn't mean you should. Put the camel toe away, for the good of mankind.

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