Friday, January 13, 2006

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...right?

I'm home. Thank God. And slightly recovered from an entire month of living every minute of my life to please other people (aka 'the holidays') topped off with a business trip to Vegas.

Five days of vodka, stale air, slot machines, fake smiles, sleep deprivation, and the reak of American cigarettes EVERYWHERE is enough to make me get down on my knees and kiss the land I live on. Seriously people, how can you smoke those things? I've never been a smoker and cigarettes in general are incredibly disgusting, but the American ones? They smell like horse manure! Do Americans really smoke that much or is the hedonistic orgy vibe in Vegas so strong that it brings out every sinful habit?

And the vodka, my friend Vodka. With cranberry juice, of course, because it was pretty much the only thing that passed through my lips in five days that had even the slightest trace of nutritional value. A Starbucks latte for breakfast, late lunch, the Vodka, and maybe some fingerfood at a cocktail party in the evening...for five days. Is it any wonder why I retained ten pounds of water and felt thouroughly poisoned and toxic by the time I got home? I am surprised the whites of my eyes weren't turning yellow as my liver stopped functioning.

There were 160 THOUSAND people flying into Vegas for the same 5 day period I was there, for three different conventions. That's twice as many as live in my entire city. It was utter insanity.

But I'm home. And I'm eating vegetables. And drinking water. And NOT drinking The Vodka. And totally not sleeping still, but at least I'm home where the air is fresh and life is clean. And I didnt even need Rehab.

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